Blogs

I just finished traveling with my ten year old Justin. I should just call him “Karma.”

I cannot believe how many things he does that duplicate the way I behaved when I was a boy. The man upstairs, who sometimes I think might be operating from “downstairs,” must be playing jokes on me. Maybe the Big “G” was in the front row one night and I offended him? Should I have yelled out a “Gosh Darn” when I slammed my hand in the door, instead of “damning” the moment?

Some days, I like to take a mini vacation, not of the traditional family variety where I book a flight to a tropical destination, but the kind where I vacate the premises of my mind.

There is no such thing as turning off all brain noise like I’m flipping a power switch. I do meditate and contemplate, but there is always something percolating in my busy mind.

“I have to call my cousin and tell her I can’t attend her wedding.”
"Are the dogs fed?”
“I have a great idea to make some extra cash – a service where you jot down people’s ideas and then execute them!”

Here's an old blog I found. Originally written on Dec. 11, 2008.

“It’s the economy, stupid.” Or is it “the stupid economy?”

They say that folks vote on the economy more than any other issue. Voters look at their bank account and give the nod to a candidate based on their financial situation.

As most of you know, I perform lengthy shows that are a good deal longer than most comics. I lay it all out there every single show and hope that the audience is exhausted and laughed out. 

Usually after the show I hang out and meet the people who stop by to see me. I enjoy the face to face time with the audience and I have been posting all the photos we take together.

I keep reading articles about what is hot and what is not. So called journalists choose who belongs on the hot looking list.

Let me tell you what (or who) I think is hot…

Let’s face facts. Women are judged by the way they look. Guys by how they perform, like how much money they make. There are no Men’s magazines showing pictures of women getting college degrees: “Look at this girl, she’s a thinker.” Contrarily, Women’s magazines are not filled with men in thongs. You never hear about a television Oscar special about the fashion secrets of actors and the tuxes they wear. “Mister Hanks, you look fabulous in black, is there any truth to the rumor you changed designers?”

I really enjoy visiting New York City. I do things there that I don’t do anywhere else.

 Mostly, I walk. I’m kinda like Forrest Gump when he ran cross country. I keep walking and walking and walking, only breaking for red lights and an occasional homeless man exchange.

Rape…it’s a violent crime not a “sexual act.”

It drives me crazy when I hear people say a woman was “asking for it” from the way she was dressed.

How come they don’t use this defense in other crimes? Get some middle aged man on the stand who was supposedly victimized…