Loaf Day

Some days, I like to take a mini vacation, not of the traditional family variety where I book a flight to a tropical destination, but the kind where I vacate the premises of my mind.

There is no such thing as turning off all brain noise like I’m flipping a power switch. I do meditate and contemplate, but there is always something percolating in my busy mind.

“I have to call my cousin and tell her I can’t attend her wedding.”
"Are the dogs fed?”
“I have a great idea to make some extra cash – a service where you jot down people’s ideas and then execute them!”

I need a mental blackout, where all lights, monitors, and noise shuts down. The only sound is the steady hum of an emergency generator.
I realize there are folks who practice Transcendental Meditation or moves immersing themselves in nothingness, but I’m not ready to make that commitment. Besides, I don’t look so good going bald, let alone being bald from voluntarily shaving my head. The flowing silk robe active wear appeals to me, but not the Dalai Lama dome.

Although I resist complete commitment to higher consciousness, I have experienced nirvana, though as I become more aware of dropping the things I fear or desire from my thinking. I concentrate on allowing more scary, lustful, selfish and competitive needs to simply pass through my mind like a bus I’m not boarding. I acknowledge seeing it, but then the harmful idea goes away.

But then … boom! Suddenly, I am awakened by a fear that the kids will barge into my private space. “Oh no, I didn’t tell them to occupy their time for an hour. Whoops. Jared is too young to know what an hour is. When I get up, I’ll teach him how to tell time. Has he even seen a clock with hands? Justin can tell time. He can also search the internet. I forgot to lock my computer. Damn! My friend just sent me a video labeled ‘Sponge Bob’ that’s really co-eds giving sponge baths!”

Should I get up? Do I leave my peaceful party to deal with the possibility that the boys are getting into trouble?

Probably best to let go of those concepts too. So what if Jared stumbles upon HBO’s Hung while searching for a kiddie show on Noggin or Nick? If Justin downloads a video of 18 year old guys using their anus areas as a launch pad for a bottle rocket, it won’t cause him to follow that path, will it?

I think I hear matches striking. I gotta go. Vacation is over. Will try again tomorrow. At 3am.