Calendar * Picks of the Week

CRAIG SHOEMAKER LA WEEKLY

By Libby Molyneaux

He’s normal, this Craig Shoemaker — a comedian who can best be described as "very, very funny." His topics include normal-guy stuff like dogs, watching sports on TV, changing diapers, sex and aliens with vaginas on their heads.

When did you first know you were funny?

In 4th grade, I was always late to class. To soften the punishment, I made my teacher Mrs. Stout cry with laughter with stories about my home life. Looking back, I am sure the teacher was laughing because she couldn’t believe how much this little 9-year-old was revealing about his family. It’s also when I received my first "cease and desist" order from my mother.

What other comic, living or dead, would you most like to sleep with?

Mae West — it’s not that she was that attractive, but her death — before I was born — quells my wife’s jealousy.

If you could never leave one particular block in L.A., where would it be?

My backyard. There’s no greater pleasure than playing with my sons. Luckily, they haven’t fact-checked my stories of athletic prowess from my youth.